I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
