This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize