So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
