I am in a vortex of obligation.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
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