I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
