Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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