i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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