im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Everclear isn't food dammit
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
