where am i from again
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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