so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
