she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
