No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize