Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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