I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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