my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize