i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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