i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
