its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
