I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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