I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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