I skipped work to stalk him.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
