hotel room ftw
My pussy is not your playground.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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