I am in a vortex of obligation.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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