I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My life is pants optional.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
