that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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