i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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