We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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