So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
