All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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