In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
