I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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