i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize