Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
