Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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