The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
