I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
