I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
