"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
