I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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