Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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