Screwed.edu
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
