my phone needs a breathalizer
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
