It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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