I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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