According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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