Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
