i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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