This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize