im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
