rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
