Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
