My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
