The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize