He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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