I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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