Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Randomize
