Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
