do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
