me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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