did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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