i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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