Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
