I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
