omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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