Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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