Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
