Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize