her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
