apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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