Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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