The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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