i think i have herpe
just one?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
