i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
