i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
My cat gives me a boner
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
