we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
