I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize