You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
