Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
