Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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