I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
