Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
