so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize